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Keeping Those New Year’s Resolutions by Bill Malone, MSW, LISW Christmas came and Christmas went. The New Year’s Eve celebrations ended with the usual “Dropping of the ball in Times Square”. Whether we are prepared for it or not, 1999 is here. Are you ready for it? Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? If you are like me, you probably have. Making New Year’s resolutions are universal. I do not know who or when the idea of making New Year’s resolutions began or why. I will have to make finding the origin of New Year’s resolutions my resolution for next year. We’ll see! It is accurate to say that many people make resolutions and many of us do not keep them. Why is it that most of us make resolutions and most of us fail to keep them? Do we have weaker will powers than those who do keep them or are we just lazy? Keeping resolutions has little to do with being lazy or having will power. What determines whether we keep our resolutions are: (1) The spirit in which the resolution was made, (2) the kind of resolution made, and (3) the potential benefit of keeping the resolution. If a resolution is made in fun, or because it is the thing to do, the resolution is not going to be kept. Resolutions require making behavioral or cognitive changes in life. If there is not a serious intent in making a change in a person’s life, which the resolution requires, there can not be change. Change requires commitment. The kind of resolution one makes does affect whether the resolution is carried out. If you are a chocolate lover as I am, making absence of chocolate, your New Year’s resolution is destined to fail. Giving up something that is such a part of your life-style is not realistic. In order to be successful at keeping those resolutions, the resolution should be realistic and achievable. I have been eating chocolate since the time I was a little boy. I do not intend to change it now. What I can do is to modify the amount and the frequency of which I eat chocolate. When there is little gained in keeping the resolution that was decided upon, the failure rate increases. To keep a resolution and maintain it requires constant looking after, conscious effort and persistence. In the absence of some kind of reward for hard work and effort, motivation declines. Therefore, it is important to assess if “the pain is worth the gain.” If you are still interested in keeping the resolutions you have made for yourself, then the guidelines that follow may be of interest to you. If you follow these guidelines, I am certain you will succeed, 98 and 3/4 guaranteed! Strategies To Succeed Make a commitment and stick to it no matter what: No excuses and no yes, buts. Be realistic in what your goals are. You can’t lose 20 pounds or get in shape in two weeks. Five months may be more realistic. Decide if the pain is worth the effort. If the pain is worth the gain then press on. But, if the gain is not worth the effort, drop it and find something else to work on that will bring you more satisfaction and pay back for your effort. Here are several resolutions I recommend that pay off big, plus, if you cheat a bit, you won’t feel much guilt: Spend more time this year looking at what is right in the world instead of what is wrong. You and I both know the news media will not tell us the positive side of life. If you are a parent or work with children, try setting more reasonable expectations for them to follow. Expect children to be like children, act like children and talk like children. “Don’t act like a baby,” says mom. “But I’m a baby, mom. I’m only four years old,” says Tommy. Don’t take life so seriously. Dr. Seuss said it best in his last book, Oh, the Places You’ll Go, when he wrote, “When things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.” When making a change successfully, try taking little steps, instead of giant ones. Taking giant steps can be too overwhelming for many people. We learned to walk one baby step at a time and we got there just fine. So, why not climb your mountain, one step at a time? Instead of being critical of yourself and of others, try pointing out what the strengths are. Smile a lot and remember you can catch a lot of bees with the right kind of honey. For those who are mothers and wives who feel like you are the maid, try saying “no” more often. You will be surprised how independent and resourceful children and spouses can be if you give them a chance. Adopt the Drug-Free America slogan and “JUST SAY NO”. If you would like a free copy of my poster, I’m Not Your Maid, send me a self-addressed envelope and I will send you a free copy. A resolution for those parents of children who like to argue, try not to argue back. Have you ever had an argument with someone who would not argue back? It is impossible to argue with someone who refuses to. Try this resolution for one year and call me and let me know how well it worked out, but remember Don’t argue back. If you have an interesting resolution and want to share it with me, drop me a line. My resolutions are going to be easier to keep this year. They include being kinder to myself and others, laughing more and enjoying what gifts I do have. You are encouraged to do the same. Remember, if you try, your year will be happier and healthier most certain, 98 and 3/4 guaranteed. Copyright 1993, 1999 by Bill Malone. All rights reserved.

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